Tue, 29 Dec 2015, 20:00 – Him: Bitch

Tue, 29 Dec 2015, 20:12 – Me: I’ve been called worse

Tue, 29 Dec 2015, 20:13 – Him: Not like this, trust me

Tue, 29 Dec 2015, 20:14 – Me: Trust you? Your brain doesn’t even trust you, why would I?

Tue, 29 Dec 2015, 20:16 – Him: Olodo

Tue, 29 Dec 2015, 20:20 – Me: Go and learn English o

Tue, 29 Dec 2015, 20:21 – Me: Change your life before 2016 o

Tue, 29 Dec 2015, 20:21 – Him: Change in what sense?

Tue, 29 Dec 2015, 20:22 – Me: Olodo too

Tue, 29 Dec 2015, 20:22 – Him: SMH… U r so predictable

Tue, 29 Dec 2015, 20:22 – Me: I must explain everything for you

Tue, 29 Dec 2015, 20:22 – Me: Being predictable is not a crime

Tue, 29 Dec 2015, 20:22 – Him: It’s called being intelligently inconclusive

Tue, 29 Dec 2015, 20:23 – Him: Being predictable is shit

Tue, 29 Dec 2015, 20:29 – Me: Because I don’t blab about how predictable you are also doesn’t mean you aren’t.

Tue, 29 Dec 2015, 20:30 – Him: The fact that u don’t means I ain’t

Tue, 29 Dec 2015, 20:31 – Me: I’m not surprised that you’re always reminding me, empty vessels make the loudest noise

Tue, 29 Dec 2015, 20:32 – Him: Use logic and deceive urself

Tue, 29 Dec 2015, 20:33 – Me: Whatever makes you sleep at night

Tue, 29 Dec 2015, 20:39 – Him: U knw we spend 4 of 7 of the time we talk sequentially beefing n u claim u love me

Tue, 29 Dec 2015, 20:40 – Me: Don’t you dare use emotional blackmail on me

Tue, 29 Dec 2015, 20:41 – Him: Speaking about blackmail and love I had a viaiin

Tue, 29 Dec 2015, 20:41 – Him: ….. a vision

Tue, 29 Dec 2015, 20:42 – Me: Did you now? Tell me about it.

Tue, 29 Dec 2015, 20:52 – Him: U knw, the 3 girls I’ve ever loved broke my heart in one way or the other before I met u. 

3 girls I loved didn’t sleep with them, made it a mission to sleep wit them for revenge n I did, completed the last one yesterday; no love lost. 

Until I discovered that I love u, so I need u break my heart least my vision come true, u marry me….

Tue, 29 Dec 2015, 20:55 – Me: In your vision I married you? That’s a nightmare

Tue, 29 Dec 2015, 20:57 – Him: That’s why I need u break my heart so I’d never love. side effects, I’d hunt u down

Tue, 29 Dec 2015, 20:58 – Him: Wait, just got a brain wave, break my heart and vision comes through… This is so confusing. 

What do u think we do?

Tue, 29 Dec 2015, 20:59 – Me: Who is we? Don’t just drag me into this Hill. Wait, isn’t it too early to be doing April fool?

Tue, 29 Dec 2015, 21:01 – Him: M telling real shit and u r giving me drag attitude….. 

U think m joking

Tue, 29 Dec 2015, 21:05 – Me: I’m thinking a lot of things and none of them rhythm with ‘Ibelieveyou’, trust me.

Tue, 29 Dec 2015, 21:06 – Him: I trust u

Tue, 29 Dec 2015, 21:09 – Me: Fine

Tue, 29 Dec 2015, 21:11 – Him: Lol

Tue, 29 Dec 2015, 21:12 – Me: What’s funny?

Tue, 29 Dec 2015, 21:13 – Him: U r running away from it

Tue, 29 Dec 2015, 21:13 – Me: Running away from what?

Tue, 29 Dec 2015, 21:14 – Him: Ooo… Relax.. U anxiety too much

Tue, 29 Dec 2015, 21:15 – Me: Do you think this is some Korean movie? Receive sense in Oluwa’s name…..

Tue, 29 Dec 2015, 21:16 – Him: I don’t get. I just felt u shld knw

Tue, 29 Dec 2015, 21:19 – Me: Later you will tell me to go and learn English. I don’t have anxiety.

Tue, 29 Dec 2015, 21:20 – Him: It’s the new breed of language ….. U gata learn. Harsh!

Tue, 29 Dec 2015, 21:22 – Me: Breed of language? You’re so funny I forgot to laugh.

Tue, 29 Dec 2015, 21:24 – Him: Don’t worry, I’d carry u to tomorrow. U live in yesterday

Tue, 29 Dec 2015, 21:26 – Me: Me? I’m already in the new year o. It’s you people that are still anticipating 2016.

Tue, 29 Dec 2015, 21:28 – Him: We?

Tue, 29 Dec 2015, 21:36 – Me: Yeah, you and the rest of your species

Tue, 29 Dec 2015, 21:37 – Him: My species?

Tue, 29 Dec 2015, 21:40 – Me: Well you can’t be same species as me. I’m awesome and you’re just… you know…. you

Tue, 29 Dec 2015, 21:44 – Him: U mean the other way round

Tue, 29 Dec 2015, 21:45 – Me: Abeg before you infect me with whatever you are suffering from, I’m going to bed. Goodnight. Sleep well.

Tue, 29 Dec 2015, 21:46 – Him: Lol

Tue, 29 Dec 2015, 21:47 – Me: Normal people will reply “goodnight”  but not Hill. Weirdo.

Tue, 29 Dec 2015, 21:50 – Him: M godish. M a king. 

Ur brain is too small to understand

Tue, 29 Dec 2015, 21:52 – Me: Lemme just pity you and ignore the rubbish you just sent, I don’t want you seeking revenge on me because after all, it’s been said that elephants never forget. Mtcheew

Tue, 29 Dec 2015, 21:52 – Me: Sleep well 

It’s been a year and 4 months since then, he’s Hill (the devil) and I’m Lavender (your saviour) and this is my diary blog covering all the tales and experiences of my life which include 

  • Being best friends with the devil 
  • Surviving being my parents’ child 
  • Living through university 
  • Trying my best to make sense of religion 
  • Searching for the perfect shade of matte lipstick 
  • Trolling the internet for interesting stories 
  • Ecetera Ecetera Ecetera… 

Since this is my first post on the blog, I don’t know how well I did but hopefully it’ll be good (or better) next time. 

Yours truly, 

P. S

– Featured image downloaded from Google images.

– In response to the daily word prompt “Impression“. 

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5 thoughts on “Conversation Corner – How I Became Best Friends With The Devil 

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